Dangerous mind games

This is how we play dangerous mind games with ourselves.

Some of us will mentally transform failure from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure).

Don’t you ever do that to yourself. Ever.

This simple mental act can destroy your life or big chunks of it.

After you form your identity based on a single action or even series of actions, you will start using your thoughts, words and actions consistently with your screwy identity.

It’s a fact, that people behave according to their self-concept. Your identity “I am a failure” is a result of a natural human tendency to generalize.

In fact our ability to generalize is pretty awesome, if used correctly. But it can lead us in a downward spiral if we’re not careful.

Going from “I failed” to “I am a failure” is one of those biggies that will literally screw your life.

By the way. You never fail completely. Take your lessons with you. And move on. But move on not as a failure, but as an amazing human being with a capacity to learn and come back stronger than ever.

If you want to succeed learn how to handle failure.

That’s it for now.


Have you ever gone from “I failed” to “I’m a failure”?


6 Comments on Dangerous mind games

  1. I think it is a trap many of us easily can fall into… it takes a lot of strength to get above the idea that one is not a failure because one has failed.

    But really, what is failure? Getting an “F” on a test? I would contend this isn’t even failure, if the person really put an effort into the test. Having a marriage that isn’t working… did you fail? Probably not.. maybe you just didn’t put effort into making it work, but it doesn’t mean you failed.

    I think what you hinted to towards the end “you never fail completely” … failure only exists if one lets it exist….

    PS – it is much easier to have these affirmations than to live them.. THIS takes practice!!

    • Hi Dave,
      Thanks for your comment.
      Yes failure is not so bad really, but still we are sooo afraid of it.
      One reason I constantly talk about this stuff is because this thinking just comes right at you. I write not to show how perfect I am (nobody is) but to remind myself over and over and again, thousand of times if necessary, to live my life to the fullest and not to let limited thinking into my life.
      Thanks again,
      Yea, yea it’s not easy, but we’re gonna do it. Won’t we?:)
      Derek Potocki recently posted..Fixed mindset vs Growth mindsetMy Profile

      • Indeed, failure (or the lack there of) has nothing whatsoever to do with perfection/success, etc…. Imagine how limited the world would be without failures… that we would only ever do the things we knew would succeed….

        I am a photographer.. do you know, I can go out on a shoot and take 400,500, or 600 shots in a day… and pray I have just one that I consider to my liking… does this mean I failed 599 times? nope :!!

        I am also very thankful that you spend your time and share such insights. It’s good to have reminders, and this is an important one for sure!!


  2. It is really a significant problem, I’ve made a conversion about this thing with my uncle, who is a psychiatrist. He told me that these things are true for a type of personality, the most of these people are introverted.
    Julia recently posted..crown teethMy Profile

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