How to create a perfect, crappy day

1. Tell yourself that you are a worthless piece of s$%^it

This is a great start. I recommend you use it immediately after you wake up.

2. Imagine the worst case scenarios

This one is a number one strategy for having a crappy day. I recommend imagining the worst case scenarios immediately after you get out of bed, but works best when you tell yourself that “I’m a worthless piece of shit” first.

3. Focus on lack of stuff

While you imagining the worst possible scenarios, notice all the things that are missing in your life. Add a complete denial of all the opportunities and abundance around you. Keep denying all that is, continue focus on what is missing.

4. Don’t take action.

Stay in bed for most of the day and continue imagining the worst possible scenarios. Over analyze everything.

5. Add some fantasy thinking

Imagine that you win a lottery and all your problems will be solved.

6. Decide to wait for an imaginary savior

Create an image of your perfect savior.  That is someone or something that will come one day and save you. Don’t save yourself. Keep waiting.

7. At the end of the day, congratulate yourself

At the end of the day (if you are still alive) congratulate yourself for the job well done.

♣ ♣ ♣

You’ve just created the perfect, crappy day. The more you practice these 7 steps, the better you will become at this stuff.

Many crappy days ahead of you. With the right strategy, you can do it.



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6 Comments on How to create a perfect, crappy day

  1. Sarcasm at it’s best, nice job Derek I like it. Now I’m off to do none of the 7 things you just listed:)

  2. Hey Derek, what’s this, reverse psychology? :))
    By the end of the article i was already planing my next day, waking up, telling myself “i love you so much”, going for a 5 miles jogging, working my ass off on my blog.
    So ok, i admit i kept the lottery part, but that’s probably just out of habit.
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