How to REALLY enjoy life

by Derek Potocki on 04/24/2011 · 18 comments

1st kind of people: Present moment worshippers.

The bad: People in this group live for now. This type of approach to life is based on philosophy derived from new age thinking, pop psychology, religion and marketing forces. It is a phenomenon that is really easy to sell to people. The emphasis is on life enjoyment and often as little thinking and as little work as possible.

Work is often valued not too highly among present moment worshippers. Music, spa and food are really on top of their list of activities. They don’t believe in goals because they love the things as they are, and they are afraid to fail. It is impossible to succeed in life because they will not exert an effort required for success.

The good: The truth is, present moment is the only real thing, there is. Everything happens in a present. We can’t be happy in the future. We can only be happy now. We can’t enjoy the future. We can only enjoy now. Enjoying every breath and every moment is an important part of being a whole person.

2nd kind of people: Goal oriented MFs.

The bad: This group consists of go-geters. They don’t see anything but the aim they want to reach. And they want to reach it fast. Most of the time they are very passionate about their goals, and nothing will convince them to stop or reconsider their ways. Their philosophy comes from protestant thinking, Confucius and  self-help gurus that preach goal-oriented lifestyle.

The good: It is very hard to live without having goals, it seems that we as humans are goal seeking animals by default. Goals give meaning to our lives and much-needed direction. They are necessary for true enjoyment and fulfillment.

3rd kind of people: Hybrids.

Only good: These folks are true masters of life. They figured out how to really crush it. They enjoy their life to the fullest because they love their present moment. But they also have no regrets, because if they want something, they go and get it. They are passionate about life and they will work their ass off to get what they want. They breath deeply. They have high self-esteem, because they have direction and purpose.

But they also know how to enjoy simple pleasures. A glass of good wine with friends. A beautiful sunset or a magnificent smell from a roadside rose. There is no dichotomy in their thinking. They know that present moment is the only thing they have, but they also know that their future is bright, because they are not afraid of real work and they are not afraid to fail. Their present shines and their future looks like million bucks.

To your total and crushing success in life

If you like my post and think that it might be valuable to your friends or followers, please Tweet it or Share it on FB. And if you haven’t done it yet get my free e-book: Start Late, Achieve Your Goals Anyway, And Live Without Regrets.

And of course I’d love to see some great comments, good or bad, anything goes:)

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Theresa Bradley-Banta
Twitter:
April 25, 2011 at 9:24 PM

Hi Derek –

I was writing some post headlines today and I came up with “Why I Prefer Happy Campers Over Whiners”… then I scrapped it because I decided I didn’t prefer happy campers over whiners. Mainly because happy campers weren’t looking for anything new. They didn’t have any goals. There were just like your present moment worshipers!

So one moment I liked happy campers, the next I decided I didn’t. Talk about confused. Your post addressed my dilemma perfectly.

There’s another choice! The hybrid. Hooray! Thanks for writing this post…. now I don’t have to. You did a brilliant job and came up with the perfect solution.

Love your dialog photos!

~Theresa
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Derek Potocki
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April 25, 2011 at 10:16 PM

Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your comment.
This post is a result of my own struggle and confusion on how to bring some balance for those who are present-oriented and those who are more future oriented. My conclusion was, that none of those extremes alone is fully beneficial to us. Combining the two, is one way to solve the dilemma.
Life is interesting, isn’t it?;)
Love,
Derek
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Bernardo
Twitter:
April 26, 2011 at 12:14 AM

Hi Derek,

I really appreciate the hybrid approach, while it is true that the present moment is the most important time there is, working to create the life conditions you ultimately want is just as noble (IF) you can manage to maintain the perspective of knowing that your life is already complete.

The difficult part sometimes is working towards a goal while really and profoundly enjoying the journey. The thing is, life is mostly a journey so the more we can all enjoy that part, the sweeter the reaching a goal will be.

Thank you for sharing this view with us my man!

-Bernardo
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Derek Potocki
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April 26, 2011 at 7:07 AM

Hi Bernardo,
I can’t believe how eloquent you are. I fully agree that “the present moment is the most important time there is, (while) working to create the life conditions you ultimately want is just as noble…”
It is a challenging subject to me, and writing this post was not easy, I don’t claim to have all the answers, I just experiment with these things and share my experience at Goalsblogger. The learning journey never ends, and I learn from commenters like yourself.
Thanks again for stopping by Bernardo.
Derek
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Stacey Herbert April 26, 2011 at 4:03 AM

Hi Derek..can I be all three? Seriously I fluctuate between all these states. Sometimes I’m so laid back and in the moment, I’m positively horizontal. Others times I’m so completely on it, I barely have time for a civil conversation that is not linked to what I’m trying to achieve. Whilst other times, I manage to find that sweet spot where I’m living in the now, working towards the future, and totally appreciative of exactly where I am. It something you have to remain concious of in order to maintain..so glad I saw this via your comment…I was away from my laptop most of easter and would have missed it otherwise. I just wanted to say, you write really well Derek, and I’m learning alot from you and others. Hope you had a rocking bank holiday.

“Present moment, hybrid goal orienteated MF”….can I be that instead
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
April 26, 2011 at 6:55 AM

Hi Stacie,
Thank you for your comment. I fluctuate between those states too. We are human. I think we must somehow mix these three approaches to bring balance to our life. How exactly we will do it, it’s our personal style. Be all three, even if not at the same time. The first two approaches are not purely negative, they have good and bad features.
Yeah, mix and match baby;)
Rock on Stacie,
Derek
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Annie Lin
Twitter:
April 27, 2011 at 2:27 AM

Yes, yes, yes!!! I’m all about the hybrid (though I’m guilty of vacillating like Stacey, too) I’m SO glad you exposed some of the downsides to focusing solely on the present moment. I also LOVE how you are so positive–focusing on the good in each type. Smart, honest, real advice. :-)
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
April 27, 2011 at 6:05 PM

Hi Annie,
Thank you for stopping here.
I did 21 days Vipassana meditation retreat at a Buddhist monastery in Thailand few years ago. It was a great experience, but the premise was to observe one’s mind. I’ve learned a lot from the experience, but I don’t want to just watch my experience, I want to create my experience as well.
Buddha’s system is just one way to experience the world, but not the only way:)
Stacey is honest, It’s often hard to be in the moment and working on your goal at the same time. Bu my take is this, one of the best uses of a moment (but not the only one) is working on our goal:)
Thank you Annie for your comment.
Derek
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Jasmine @ GoalsOnTrack April 28, 2011 at 12:10 PM

Great post Derek. I’ve been recently using a goal setting app called GoalsOnTrack and it has worked very well. It saves me a lot of time in keeping track of my goals and most importantly it helps me better organize my daily todos towards achieving my goals. You may want to check it out.
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
April 29, 2011 at 6:38 AM

Hi Jasmine,
Thank you for stopping by. I am happy that GoalsOnTrack app works for you. I’ve just checked your site. It looks like a solid goal tracking system. I need to look into it.
To do lists are important from a perspective of focus. 2 items on our to do list per day is probably more than enough.
Thanks again,
Derek
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Rob
Twitter:
April 29, 2011 at 12:06 AM

Hey Derek,
Slam dunk on this one.
I am a hybrid with a subtle twist:
I enjoy the heck out of this thing called life every day. I also am knocking out and adding goals regularly. My focus with goals is to make tomorrow better by the choices I make today. This can be short or long term. If training for a serious hike (Ex: 14k peak), I relish in the training I put in. I like to focus on what I’m getting out of it presently, and what I will get out of it in the future.
Love your style.
Live it LOUD!

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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
April 29, 2011 at 6:23 AM

Hi Rob,
Thanks for your comment. I think you just described enjoying the process of going for your outcome as well as the outcome. If you can get yourself to enjoy the journey then the outcome is just an extra reward. But the journey is the reward already.
All that happens when you choose an exciting goal in the first place (like 14k peak climbing).
Have a great day. Loved reading “It can’t be done” poem on your blog.
Derek
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Constantin Gabor May 1, 2011 at 4:35 AM

I’m looking forward for a next post titled “How to be a hybrid” :-)

I like to think I’m a hybrid but maybe I’m biased.
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Stacey Herbert May 1, 2011 at 9:49 AM

Ha ha ..me to constantin.Come on Derek…BRING IT,
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
May 2, 2011 at 12:31 PM

Hi Stacey,
I will think about it;)
Hope all is well in your exciting world.
Greetings,
Derek
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
May 2, 2011 at 12:29 PM

Hi Constantin,
Thank you for dropping by. Being a hybrid is simple: you must do two things at the same time:
1. Enjoy your present moment while
2. Working on your goals.
I’m waiting for your next post titled: Why few work for themselves- Delayed Pleasure?
Ciao,
Derek
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Riley Harrison May 2, 2011 at 2:03 PM

Good post. I also really enjoy that your post your goals and showing a clock ticking down in a sidebar. I like that and am going to add it to my goal seeking strategy. Have a great day.
Riley
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Derek Potocki
Twitter:
May 2, 2011 at 7:38 PM

Hi Riley,
Thank you for your comment. Actually the clocks idea was to:
1. Motivate myself
2. Make my blog different and more edgy than majority of motivational blogs out there.
Also, I’ve had a few critics of my clocks. There are some people, that get nervous by stuff like that:)
I’m glad you see value in my approach.
Rock on,
Derek
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