You have learned a thing or two about life, haven’t you: Better be safe than sorry. Watch it! Be careful (not to make mistakes). What if it doesn’t work? Rejection is humiliating. When people laugh at me, I feel like I want to disappear. Every time people catch me on making a mistake they judge me, laugh at me and feel sorry for me. When I fail at something I like to put a label on myself like: I’m too stupid, or I can’t win. Life’s a bitch and then you die.
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE LAUGH AT ME. EVERY TIME I MAKE A MISTAKE, IT’S KILLING ME. THINGS SHOULD GO SMOOTHLY!
No, they won’t. One thing that I have learned about life, is that things hardly ever go smoothly. We make mistakes, and we fail. We feel bad and unhappy and even worse: humiliated in front of other people.
But we are smart. Aren’t we. We notice that when we play safe, stay in our comfort zones, we don’t have to go through so many mistakes, failures, rejections and humiliations.
So here we are. We become super-intelligent. We master the art of not making mistakes. We are proud, because people don’t laugh at us anymore. Gosh we don’t even get rejected. We are so smart. Aren’t we. We have mastered the world. Now we are content. And we can teach others our beautiful philosophy of avoiding rejection.
Congratulations. We have just entered the cozy world of our COMFORT ZONES.
There are comfort zones in every area of our life. Let’s talk about a few of them:
1. Self esteem comfort zone.
We put value on ourselves. Don’t say you don’t. Esteem means valuation. It is the value you assign to yourself. The funny thing is that your self-value almost never expands. Let’s say we assign a number to how valuable we really are and the number is 6 out 10. Do you thing that number 6 will somehow become 8 or 10. Not likely. Why, because we suck at getting out of our comfort zones.
2. Financial comfort zone.
Every year we claim our income for the tax man. Dog gone it! Every year is the same or similar amount of income? What’s going on here? Your income is stuck at $100.000/year. For 30 years in a row! We are talking a major comfort zone or set point here. Prison.
3. Fitness comfort zone.
Damn. My body weight has been 250 lbs for the last 10 years. What’s wrong with me? My genes. I’m screwed by my genes! I’m in the zone baby!
People just don’t like me. They don’t pay attention to me. I’m being ignored so often, it’s not even funny. What’s wrong with people. They don’t recognize my greatness. Or maybe I’m a door mat? Yes, I’m a door mat. I am invisible! The world is cruel. I’m in the invisible social zone. My zone is my refuge. Screw the world. I’ve been here for the last 40 years, I will stay here for another 40. At least it’s familiar here.
5. Creativity comfort zone.
I can’t create stuff. I can’t create valuable products or services. I can’t understand the market place. I can’t figure out how some people create all that great stuff and even sell it. I don’t have creative skills. I am different. I am in the un-creative zone. This is my destiny! The uncreative zone. I belong here.
6. Business comfort zone
Business comfort zone is my favorite. First of all I’m kind of uncomfortable with the term “small business”. (US Small firms with fewer than 500 employees represent 99.9 percent of the total ( employers and nonemployers), as the most recent data show there were about 18,311 large businesses in 2007). Does that mean that a business is destined to stay small. I hope not.
I like businesses like Facebook. It has a nice size, I think. But if we insist on being small, that’s exactly where we are going to stay. Love it or hate it.
The list can go on and on.
The problem is. All the goodies happen out of our comfort zones. So take some mental dynamite and start blowing up your comfort zones, whether it’s creativity, social skills or business. Just leave it.
I would suggest that the first comfort zone that has to go is your thinking.
If your thinking sucks then change it. This is where the REAL POWER starts, to change our thinking.
The way to do it is to go into a Discomfort Zone. To start doing things for the first time. Ever. Things that you have never done before. Uncomfortable things. Things you fear.
That is how you achieve your goals and live without regrets. It’s not easy…but it’s possible.